I am getting light rain outside kiosk, seem to hear fast elder brother is broken broken what reading aloud " 3 hum classics " . As it happens I should come home see a son, asked for leave then, after handling the issue in good home, I ask a son: You know “ not to know what classics, hey it is big snake of that nine head, that what classics of the bird that can you sing to you still can dance? Say of ground of ” son doubt: “ woman, what I know you say how is what classics then, besides, are you illiterate what do you see that thing have to use? I think ” again, discover this dot says pretty is reasonably, the concealed rat that but I walk dead,crosses A Xun. I went out to search.
我在亭子外受着小雨，好像听见迅儿哥碎碎念着什么《三哼经》。正好我要回家看儿子，于是请了四五天假，处理好家里的事情之后，我问儿子：“你识不识那个什么经，哎就是那个九个头大蛇，会唱歌还会跳舞的鸟儿的那个什么经？”儿子疑惑地说道：“娘，俺咋知道你说的那是什么经啊，再说，你不识字你看那东西有什么用？”我又想了想，发现这小东西说得蛮有道理，可是我踩死过阿迅的隐鼠啊。我便出去找了。
On the road I just think that to cry " 3 hum classics " , because I get again,the likelihood is spit. Rain just drips I think on the face.
在路上我才想起来那个叫《三哼经》，可能是因为我又受到小雨了。雨才滴到脸上我就想起来了。
I am being searched on the road, find a big bookshop, go in to ask the boss is had " 3 hum classics " . The boss is a bit impatient, also do not agree to help me search, I am forced oneself search everywhere. He disrelishs me later littery his book, what to buy again, with a bang come out me from inside directly. I am forced to broke be born to go.
我在路上寻着，找到一家大的书店，进去就问老板有没有《三哼经》。老板有点不耐烦，也不肯帮我找，我只好自己到处找。后来他嫌我弄乱了他的书，又没有买什么，直接把我从里面轰出来。我只好失落地走了。
I went to meet again, seeing the bookshop of one wife and children again, just went in to see there is the book of the snake that drawing nine head originally inside the move, bought 4 at a heat, my heart considers a possibility this is " 3 hum classics " , see half fund in the pocket, next moves are cruel-hearted bought.
我又走了会，又见着一家小的书店，刚进去就见着里面有一本画着九个头的蛇的书，便一口气买了四册，我心想可能这就是《三哼经》，看了看口袋里的半块钱，下着狠心买了下来。
When going back, I am holding these 4 in the arms closely, for fear that is worn by drip-drop. See fast after elder brother, I ran over excitedly to hand him 4 books, he is very happy, look at this expression, my heart was anxious mediumly to put down, he won't hate me to trample the thing of its concealed rat dead.
回去的时候，我紧紧抱着这四册，生怕被雨滴着。看见迅儿哥后，我激动地跑过去把四本书递给了他，他很开心，看着这个表情，我心中的担忧放下了，他不会恨我踩死它隐鼠的事儿了吧。
The adviser comments on:
导师点评：
The thing after the article steps on dead concealed rat to growing mom had imaginative picture, in your the wording and purpose of what one writes, long mom is elder of a goodness, stick-to-itive, she is right the consideration meticulously of Lu Xun, what this hold is very good. Additional, the article although the time of fiction is Lu Xun that time, but the diction that choose a word contains us however the print with this bright time, the contrast that such causing can make reader impression very deep. Nevertheless, there also are a few problems in the composition. For instance, to story clue narrate a bit insipid, you make literary grace this piece be narrated with the perspective of the first person, objective upper limit made your train of thought, and the language is more insipid also, the teacher feels you can try to use the 3rd person to conceive, continue to cheer!
本文对长妈妈踩死隐鼠后的事情进行了虚构描写，在你的笔下，长妈妈是一位善良、有耐心的长辈，她对鲁迅的关怀无微不至，这一点把握的很好。另外，本文虽然虚构的年代是鲁迅那个年代，但是选词用语却带有我们这个年代鲜明的印迹，这样造成的反差会让读者印象非常深刻。不过，作文中也存在着一些问题。比如，对故事情节的叙述有点平淡，你这篇作文采用第一人称的视角来叙述，客观上限制了你的思路，而且语言也比较平淡，老师觉得你可以尝试一下用第三人称来构思，继续加油！