Everybody has happy thing, having same thing also is a happy thing, I am not exceptional also.
每个人都有快乐的事，拥有一样东西也是一件快乐的事，我也不例外。
I have the baby that I like, packet, snacks can let me get satisfaction etc, and feel happy joy.
我拥有自己喜欢的娃娃，小包，零食等等都可以让我得到满足，而感到开心快乐。
This not, in these two hundred and seventy-six million four hundred and forty-seven thousand two hundred and thirty-two things, I had a very important thing, get it I am very happy. I had friendship, say “ many friends, many road ” each friend that I make since one grade is to make the person of my remain fresh in one's memory, forget to be not dropped forever, basically I can give in 9 friends every year. In these friendship, some reservation arrive now, some has disappeared disappear, but have these friendship to me character is already enough, I already very contented, very happy.
这不，在这千千万万件事中，我拥有了一个很重要的东西，得到它我很开心。我拥有了友谊，都说“多个朋友，多条路”我从一年级起交到的每一个朋友都是令我记忆犹新的人，永远都忘不掉，基本上我每年都能交上一两个朋友。这些友谊中，有的保留到现在，有的已经消失不见，但是有这些友谊对我而言已经足够了，我已经很满足，很开心了。作文吧 WWW.zuOwEnBa.Net
Say the friend has blessing to be enjoyed together, have become hard together. I and my friends also are such, each other side helps each other between us. Once, exam I did not take 2B pencil, looked for a lot of classmates to borrow, but they say they have only, perhaps say another borrowed others. The good friend that has me only at this moment comes to me in front of, take out a 2B pencil that has cut to say: “ Nuo, this 2B borrows you, anyway I have two. I say ” : “ as expected, the moment of truth still relies on you, otherwise I was finished. ” is helped because of his, this exam that lets me is done not have very be finished, those who take an examination of it is OK to still calculate, all these can thanks to my emancipator ah! Say friendship is very important really so, still can help you when you need most, pull you, do not let you feel regretful. Friendship can be comforted to you, friendship can give you warmth, friendship can give you pleasure, this is the reason that after I had friendship, feels happy. The friend is accordingly more, you won't be in an unfavorable situation, the chance that you can get than others only is more, the happy mood of results also can compare others more.
都说朋友有福同享，有难同当。我和我的朋友们也是如此，我们之间互帮互助。有一次，考试我没带2B铅笔，找了很多同学借，但他们都说自己只有一支，或者说另一支借给了别人。这时只有我的好朋友来到我跟前，拿出一支削好的2B铅笔说：“喏，这支2B借给你啦，反正我有两支。”我说：“果然，关键时刻还是靠你啊，不然我就完蛋了。”因为他的帮助，让我的这次考试没有十分完蛋，考的还算可以，这一切可多亏了我的救星啊！所以说友谊真的很重要，在你最需要的时候还可以帮助你一下，拉你一把，不让你感到遗憾。友谊可以给你安慰，友谊可以给你温暖，友谊可以给你快乐，这就是我拥有了友谊后所感到快乐的原因。因此朋友越多，你就不会吃亏，你只会比别人得到的机会更多，收获的开心的心情也会比别人更多。
I had friendship, friendship can make me more happy!
我拥有了友谊，友谊可以让我更加快乐！
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导师点评：
The article wrote friendship the importance to oneself, have friendship for oneself and proud, full text topic is specific. Nevertheless, a lot of problems exist in the composition. Above all, the language of the composition is very trifling, in other words, the saliva in the composition sentence a lot of, a lot of words are again and again in repeat a meaning, this are done very badly. Next, composition neither one always gets the clue of full text, whole composition very medicinal powder, without logic, the connection between the context in the composition is not close, do not knead. Finally, the content of the composition is more cadaverous, no matter be language or citing not vivid, bring the resonance that does not have a reader, when do this hope you can notice in the following writing!
本文写了友谊对自己的重要性，并为自己拥有友谊而骄傲，全文主题明确。不过，作文中存在很多问题。首先，作文的语言很琐碎，换句话说，作文中的口水句很多，很多句话都是翻来覆去的在重复一个意思，这一点做得很不好。其次，作文没有一个总领全文的线索，整篇作文很散，没有逻辑，作文中上下文之间的联系不紧密，揉不到一起。最后，作文的内容比较苍白，无论是语言还是举例都不生动，引不起读者的共鸣，这几点希望你在以后的写作中可以注意一下！