That day afternoon, 2 people of I and father will in the park take a walk. An aunt is pulling dog of a Tai Di from us beside had gone, father does not know how, rise to my the whole room burst into laughter unexpectedly. I one face is looking at him innocently, father laughs at the same time at the same time say: “ you in one's childhood but interesting, you still remember you bathing to young goose in those days, return its responsibility when dog stroll? ”
那日下午，我和爸爸二人来到公园里散步。一位阿姨牵着一条泰迪狗从我们身旁走过，爸爸不知怎的，竟对着我哄堂大笑起来。我一脸无辜的望着他，爸爸一边笑一边说道：“你小时候可有意思了，你还记得你那时给幼鹅洗澡，还把它当狗遛的事吗？”
I am right father say: “ is written down of course, memory is very deep. ”
我对爸爸说道：“当然记得啦，记忆很深刻呢。”
I and father sit on the meadow, began to recollect rise. “ still remembers a winter that year, we answer native place to spend the New Year, your grandfather grandma bought two gosling, I amuse you to say, let you want to bathe to it, hello feed, others walks a dog you with respect to stroll goose. I am funny also amuse you, who knows you this small fool believes, still did really so the thing of clumsy. ”
我和爸爸坐在了草地上，开始回忆了起来。“还记得那年冬天，我们回老家过年，你爷爷奶奶买了两只小鹅，我逗你说，让你要给它洗澡、喂食，别人遛狗你就遛鹅。我也就逗逗你，谁知道你这个小笨蛋信以为真，还真做了这么蠢的事。”
You return “ , move a big salver, inside filled water, expend idea ground to catch a goose next, put it in frosty water. That goose is frightened so that with a rustle quiver, two small short legs run outside desperately. ” respecting this, I and father laughed. You return “ in the mouth at that time talk about again and again is worn if comforting goose, that goose none feel grateful, drip (splash) the spray that give makes your clothing wet. But finally, that goose still was conquered by you, enjoying you to massage ’ to its ‘ . Differ meeting, the emancipator of goose is driven came over. That is your mom, your Mom well example you are one. ” listened father's word, I cannot help bursting out laughing.
“你回到家，搬来一个大盆子，把里面接满了水，然后费尽心思地抓来一只鹅，把它放到冷冰冰的水里。那鹅吓得瑟瑟发抖，两只小短腿拼命往外跑。”说到这，我和爸爸都笑了起来。“你当时嘴里还念叨着安慰鹅的话，那鹅毫不领情，淌（溅）出的水花把你的衣裳都打湿了。可最后，那鹅还是被你征服了，享受着你给它的‘按摩’。不一会，鹅的救星便赶过来了。那是***妈，***好好的训了你一顿。”听了爸爸的话，我忍不住哈哈大笑起来。
“ was opposite, after this, you move piquant strength to have good came on. You are taken one more root cord, fasten it to the neck of goose. You become it unexpectedly dog stroll, goose still can walk not quite, be forced of Liang stagger Qiang follow in your jian hou mian, gosling returns ‘ goose, of goose ’ crying, that occasion does not know to have many comical. ”
“对了，在这之后，你那好动调皮的性子有发病了。你拿来一更根绳子，把它系到了鹅的脖子上。你竟把它当狗遛了，鹅还不太会走路，只好踉踉跄跄的跟在你后头，小鹅还‘鹅，鹅’的叫着，那场面不知道有多滑稽。”
The story is recollected, the say that I cannot refrain from: “ I am too interesting in one's childhood, want to return the past really! ”
故事回忆完了，我情不自禁的说道：“小时候的我太有意思了，真想回到过去啊！”
Above all your select material is very chic: Others walks a dog, your stroll goose, interesting. Next your language is very beautiful: One face is innocent, with a rustle quiver, massage those who wait for a term to apply, cannot help laughing letting a person. The 3rd your structure is very whole: Piece rise by father's yock, breathe out continuously “ interesting ” , very natural derivative right in one's childhood the memory of stroll goose, the dialog of content of intermediate choose and employ persons will develop story plot, coda was over with “ story memory ” and open a photograph echo, with “ I am too interesting in one's childhood ” comes point out gist, sum up full text. When if you are in,developing story plot, combine look of father's word and oneself expression, psychology, movement, so the article had billows, more can absorbing.
首先你的选材很别致：别人遛狗，你遛鹅，有意思。其次你的语言很优美：一脸无辜、瑟瑟发抖、按摩等词语的运用，让人忍俊不禁。第三你的结构很完整：开篇由父亲的大笑而起，直呼“有意思”，很自然的引出了对小时候遛鹅的回忆，中间用人物的对话来展开故事情节，结尾用“故事回忆完了”与开篇相呼应，用“小时候的我太有意思了”来点明主旨，总结全文。如果你在展开故事情节时，将父亲的话与自己的神情、心理、动作相结合到一起，那么文章就有了波澜，就更能吸引人了。